We are growing up in a society where one gender is considered less than the other. The gender that gives the gift of life, is the one considered to be weak. I do not know how this system is supposed to work. The very gender whom without none of us would exist today is the one considered to be less. Isn’t that a strange idea? From a very young age, there are many small things that show children what role men are supposed to have in society and what role women are supposed to play. They’re all small signals, but it’s practically brainwashing little kids and leaving them without a vision of their own. When a daughter is born, they’re usually given kitchen sets and dolls to play with. It’s subtle but it’s a small way of indicating what they’re ‘supposed’ to do. Boys on the other hand, are given cars to play with, instead of playing ‘kitchen’ they are taught to dress up and go to work and play with remote control cars. I’m lucky to have grown up in an environment where I was treated no less than my brother or my male classmates. On the other hand in many households and schools in India, boys are always encouraged to play sports and be athletic but if a girl wants to do the same it’s always discouraged and they are told that it’s not something meant for girls. One of the other major problems in rural India is female foeticide, people in our country have so much disgust for having daughters because they think of them as a burden rather than a blessing. They don’t want the ‘burden’ of having to educate them, educating girls isn’t really a popular ideology in our country. They think it’s a waste of time, energy and money to educate them, then spend money on their weddings just to have them sit at home. If that ideology starts changing, and daughters are considered of a blessing rather than a burden, I think things would be way different today. The marriage system in India is also a little twisted according to me, to be a little more specific, the dowry system. For some strange reason, the bride’s reason are expected to pay the groom’s family whatever they demand. This system clearly indicates that the bride’s parents think that their daughter is some burden that they need to pay someone off to accept her. Despite theDowry Prohibition Act of 1961, it is still an extremely common thing in India. Another problem in majority of our country is the horrible act of domestic violence. Men and women are both victim to this horrible act, but the majority is women. Despite the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act of 2005, it is such a major problem. After a girl is married off, she is expected to just sit at home, education and having a career are foreign ideas. In bigger cities of India, where girls are equally as educated as boys and thankfully the upbringing is also a little more equal, the problem comes in when they start earning for themselves. Not always, but very often, men are paid more for the exact same job that women are doing. This is also an extremely unfair system. From a young age, girls are usually told how they’re supposed to look. If they don’t fit society’s beauty standards and if they’re not ‘fair’ or ‘thin’ they’re always told that nobody will marry them. Boys are also pressured, but nowhere as much as girls. After the marriage is done, if due to some unfortunate events the husband’s life comes to an end, the women. Is forced to end her life too, burn herself to death. This further proves my point, that in the marriage the women is considered to have no importance because she isn’t permitted to have a life of her own after her husband’s demise. This horrid act is known as Sati. The Commission of Sati Prevention Act of 1987 has reduced this act majorly but it still exists in small, rural parts of India. Rape and women’s safety isn’t one of our countries strengths either. I don’t think a single women or girl feels completely safe at all times in our country. Personally I don’t think there has ever been a day where I have felt completely safe. Growing up as girls in this world, all of us are often told ‘don’t stay out too late at night, ‘don’t dress like this’. I don’t think this is how we are supposed to grow up. I don’t feel safe going out alone at night, because I fear for my life. There are a million rape cases that take place in our country every day. Women and girls are raped in broad daylight and in the night, the only reason being that they have two x chromosomes. I think the only way we can have a gender neutral society in India is if we tackle the problem from the root. Firstly, the sex ratio in our country needs to be equal, female foeticide needs to stop now. There is a law against it, but our government needs to make sure that no female foetus dies before even starting it’s beautiful journey. Children from a long age need to be treated equally. Girls have as much a right to education as boys do and they should go to school and get their education. No girl in our country should ever feel bad about the fact that she’s a girl or weaker than anyone else. They need to be given equal opportunities, girls should be encouraged as much as boys are for playing sports and pursuing their passions. Nobody should be forced into marriage as a child, they should be able to do whatever they want. Women in our country will have a secure future only If they’re educated, know their rights and our government works towards ensuring they get their rights. The government needs to ensure that women get equal pay at their workplaces and get equal opportunities and the people of our country need to change their mindsets and stop considering girls as a liability. I hope together we can work towards making our country a safer, better and more gender neutral society and first and foremost start by changing our own mindsets.
Author: admin
11pm on a Tuesday night, a messy room and a pile of homework staring back at her. The town had just fallen asleep, her father’s snoring serving as a reminder to stay at home. She was signalling to her from below her window, frantically waving so that she could come down. Her mind was split between two options. The physics paper that was to be held the next morning and the girl who she had waited for for so long. This was truly a fight of Emotion VS Ambition, a line to sum up what being a teenager is. She chose her over-powering emotions, the physics papers flying as the wind from the window came in and she stepped out. She carefully climbed down the ladder, making sure to not cause too much commotion as to alert her parents and neighbours. They embraced each other in a long hug, as all the worries of all that lay ahead slowly faded away. Windows down, a cool evening breeze and loud 90’s bollywood music blaring through, all while holding hands with the love of their lives. They were in love, they were in bliss. They drove two neighbourhoods across, to her empty house as her parents were out of town. Hand in hand, with huge smiles plastered across their faces, they went in. They cuddled up around the fireplace, dreaming about their future together. Wholesome and loving conversations, but with ever-lasting fear. Would their parents ever accept them? Will they be able to love each other openly? Slowly, the wholesome and loving conversation took a turn and turned to tears. She wanted to cheer her girlfriend up, they wanted to be lost in the magic of that young and reckless first love. They went up to her parent’s bedroom and keeping up with the bollywood-like theme of the evening, they played dress up and pretended everything was fine, forgetting all their apprehensions about being accepted as a couple. She was lovingly draping her partner in her mother’s old and timeless pink saree, that she hoped to wear to her own wedding someday, celebrating their love openly. Lost in their own world, they lost track of time and soon the sun came up and her parents had pulled up in their driveway and came into their house to find their daughter with her girlfriend. They were trying to think clearly in that moment, but having grown up in a world where same-sex couples weren’t normalised, they panicked. They were ashamed of their daughter and pulled the two apart. Scared, both of them wanted to defend their love, save their love but the atmosphere was such that they couldn’t think straight. The other set of parents were summoned and there the six of them sat on the breakfast table, not knowing what to do. Two sets of ashamed parents and two daughters deeply in love. There were tears that morning, screaming and arguing, but their love was real. Vey real. The evening breeze came in once again, the pink saree in the corner of the room picking up the breeze. That saree symbolised their love, their woman-hood, their simplicity and their future. The evening breeze was such and it must’ve been a sign from the universe because the saree came and landed in their parent’s lap. Tears were shed, but at last, they were happy tears. College degrees that lay ahead and all their worries in the world suddenly faded away. They embraced each other once again, but this time happy tears streamed down their faces because love always wins, and love is love, regardless of who it exists between.
Hands hurting with the wait of groceries, I let the old lady behind me take my turn. Step by step, I kept moving backwards, One lady after the another, Ears aching just for those two simple words. My aching wrists wondered, Was the pain worth the multiple sighs of relief? Yes it was. Yes it was. Often my mind wanders, Wondering whether all the doors I held, The bags I carried, the notes I left, Were they worth it? Yes they were. Each night, when your head hits the pillow, That glow in your heart, The contentment in your eyes, Waking up each day, To spread yet another smile. Give. Give. Give.
- I love the warmth in people’s eyes and voices when they talk about people they love. The gentleness in describing how his hair covers his eyes or the sweet reminiscing when they come across that one song you know they love. The small moments when mindlessly scrolling on Instagram you come across the perfect meme that takes you back to the evening spent laughing together. I love it, every bit of it.
- I love memory boxes. Boxes full of half torn notebook pages, with inside jokes that we hid from teachers, polaroids of nights we will never forget. Handwritten thank you’s and I love you’s. Perhaps the reason I find them so endearing and special is because they’re permanent memories, you can’t just erase them by the click of a button. Boxes that take you back and feel like a big warm hug.
- I love warm and welcoming rooms filled with love, laughter and memories. Fairy lights strung in the back, vanilla scented candles with ‘Sham’ playing in the background. Weirdly specific, but when you enter a room like this, your heart is at ease.
- I love excited facetime calls, where there is more screaming than talking. Mutual screaming without knowing what the other is excited about. The light that illuminates the faces with sheer joy and contentment. I love it’s warmth.
- I love the romanticisation about rainy days. I love when people thank the sky for it’s theatrics, knowing very well it’s science. The excitement of taking out your hot chocolate mugs, staring outside your window, playing 80’s bollywood music and taking a 1000 boomerangs to get that chai and pakoda’s instagram story.
- I love cozy crevices in bookstores, with floor cushions on the hardwood floors. Walking around, spending a good amount of time on each book, holding it up and taking in that new book smell. I love sitting on those hardwood floors, getting lost in another dimension and walking out with heavy bags full of books and those complimentary handmade bookmarks.
- I love reunions, over-excited furry friends jumping all over and you and tackling you to the ground. Long hugs at airports, where in that moment you forget all your worries. The sweet reunion of old friends, reminiscing on the embarrassing stories of your childhood. The warmth of coming ‘home’ and eating your mother’s rajma chawal.
- I love the simplicity of long drives. Wind flying through your hair, limbs stuck out of the window, carefree. Closed eyes and happy smiles with Khwaabon Ke Parindey playing in the background.
- I love the warmth in people’’s eyes who hold the door for an endless amount of time, not worrying about it wasting their time, smiling and greeting every passerby.
- I love the comfort in those safe spaces in the city, those parks, where you stop and stare at the flowers, the one rooftop where you once laughed the night away. I love the attachment to them, the warmth they offer.
- I love the thought that people put into buying gifts for their loved ones. The endless strolling from shop to shop, market to market. The smiles when you spot something that sums up your relationship oh so perfectly. The delicacy with which handmade cards are written and ribbons are tied.